[ In a moment, Strohl understands the weight of what they put on Will's shoulders by staying behind. It is not an easy burden to carry; he knows better than most the trauma and pain of being trusted to create a bright future while those he cares for die to keep him and others safe.
But an apology doesn't sound right - not now. Not when they're all together. It is and isn't something to say sorry for. Yet he realizes that it does need to be said. The years he spent punishing himself for abandoning Halia and his parents were brutal at best. Yet the letter that Will helped him find eased that pain immensely. ]
I'm sorry for almost leaving you to handle the rest. I knew that you wouldn't give in. I knew that you'd hold all our dreams and futures close and ensure they come true. But I'm sorry for those brief moments when you thought you wouldn't see them with us.
[ It isn't an apology for believing in him or weighing him down; it's for the possible future that he saw where he had to carry on without any allies by his side.
Still -- still -- Strohl believed Will would not make the same mistakes as his father did. He had seen the missteps the previous king had; how it had nearly destroyed the country. The person he loved would not falter and bring ruin even if he was alone. And he can't say he'd be alone. Gallica and Neuras would still be with him.
All the revelations that have come forward and more will probably still keep being found. It is not as though they've uncovered every plot and scheme - they've merely dealt with a great majority of them. Much like finding out that Will still struggles with the pains of the curse; he supposes it would have been too easy for it to have just gone away. Would it be too much for him to say that pain lets him know he's real? He's here? That there will always be a hand ready to hold his when he needs it?
Maybe it's too soon to say all that but he can say: ]
And I'll remember you as often as you need.
[ His face does scrunch up when Will indicates he was wondering about his courting. He feels his shoulders droop but it is because he wants to say that it's his first time trying and he has no intention of "getting better" with anyone else. But it seems the confusion comes not with how he's courting but Will not realizing he was being courted at all.
He opens his mouth and lets out a small ah noise.
Strohl does find it in himself to smile - feels the corner of his eyes crinkle at how he's praised for how he speaks. There was a time when he stumbled over his words. Not quite literally but he spoke before he thought. Now he thinks too much before he speaks. One day, he hopes there will be a middle ground. But he supposes so long as he's alive - he too will always get a little better than the day he was before.
At least, he can finally tell Will what he's been doing.
And the two of them hold hands; he feels some excitement build in his chest just being close to him like this. In his mind, he thinks of how this would look if Halia was back to what it was. The two precious keepsakes in his heart well and thriving together. Their hands are soon together, and he grasps his hand in the same way.
His eyes widen at the request. With his free hand, he covers his mouth and looks away briefly -- attempting to use the hand on his mouth to partially cover up his face. ]
The way you speak so freely like that... it's what makes me love you more. [ His stomach twists pleasantly at his confession. ] It also means I should have been just as free with what I was doing. [ He drops his free hand from his mouth. ]
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Date: 2024-12-15 09:32 pm (UTC)But an apology doesn't sound right - not now. Not when they're all together. It is and isn't something to say sorry for. Yet he realizes that it does need to be said. The years he spent punishing himself for abandoning Halia and his parents were brutal at best. Yet the letter that Will helped him find eased that pain immensely. ]
I'm sorry for almost leaving you to handle the rest. I knew that you wouldn't give in. I knew that you'd hold all our dreams and futures close and ensure they come true. But I'm sorry for those brief moments when you thought you wouldn't see them with us.
[ It isn't an apology for believing in him or weighing him down; it's for the possible future that he saw where he had to carry on without any allies by his side.
Still -- still -- Strohl believed Will would not make the same mistakes as his father did. He had seen the missteps the previous king had; how it had nearly destroyed the country. The person he loved would not falter and bring ruin even if he was alone. And he can't say he'd be alone. Gallica and Neuras would still be with him.
All the revelations that have come forward and more will probably still keep being found. It is not as though they've uncovered every plot and scheme - they've merely dealt with a great majority of them. Much like finding out that Will still struggles with the pains of the curse; he supposes it would have been too easy for it to have just gone away. Would it be too much for him to say that pain lets him know he's real? He's here? That there will always be a hand ready to hold his when he needs it?
Maybe it's too soon to say all that but he can say: ]
And I'll remember you as often as you need.
[ His face does scrunch up when Will indicates he was wondering about his courting. He feels his shoulders droop but it is because he wants to say that it's his first time trying and he has no intention of "getting better" with anyone else. But it seems the confusion comes not with how he's courting but Will not realizing he was being courted at all.
He opens his mouth and lets out a small ah noise.
Strohl does find it in himself to smile - feels the corner of his eyes crinkle at how he's praised for how he speaks. There was a time when he stumbled over his words. Not quite literally but he spoke before he thought. Now he thinks too much before he speaks. One day, he hopes there will be a middle ground. But he supposes so long as he's alive - he too will always get a little better than the day he was before.
At least, he can finally tell Will what he's been doing.
And the two of them hold hands; he feels some excitement build in his chest just being close to him like this. In his mind, he thinks of how this would look if Halia was back to what it was. The two precious keepsakes in his heart well and thriving together. Their hands are soon together, and he grasps his hand in the same way.
His eyes widen at the request. With his free hand, he covers his mouth and looks away briefly -- attempting to use the hand on his mouth to partially cover up his face. ]
The way you speak so freely like that... it's what makes me love you more. [ His stomach twists pleasantly at his confession. ] It also means I should have been just as free with what I was doing. [ He drops his free hand from his mouth. ]
I love you, Will. May I continue to love you?